Introducing yourself to unfamiliar faces can be daunting, especially after a long period of living under social-distancing restrictions and socialising mostly through screens. To ensure a good connection, it can be helpful to learn more about the positive and negative relationship trends to look out for.
With Valentine’s Day being observed today, we explore English slang and other terms that are relevant to making new friends or going on a date.
1. Cushioning
Meaning: when someone in a committed relationship stays in contact with other potential love interests in case the relationship does not work out. This slang term describes a toxic trend.
Example: Although Tyler and Audrey are dating, he is still texting other girls every day – he must be cushioning.
2. Paperclipping
Meaning: refers to a person who dates someone for a short time, disappears and then returns abruptly whenever they feel like it. People who engage in this trend are emotionally immature, as they tend to disappear before the relationship gets meaningful and are often afraid to commit.
Example: Jenny and I went on two dates last month before she stopped responding to my messages. I thought she had moved on, but now, she’s paperclipping me by asking me to meet up again.
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3. Lockering
Meaning: when someone uses their academics as an excuse to get out of a date or break up with someone. Typically, this slang refers to break-ups where someone claims nothing is wrong and they just want to focus on their studies.
Example: Lance just told me he needs to focus on his studies this semester and will not have much time to spend with me – is he lockering me?
4. Red flags
Meaning: a warning of danger; a signal that something is not right. In slang, this phrase refers to warning signs that there may be something toxic about someone or something else.
Example: I have noticed that Penny starts saying hurtful things to you whenever she is in a bad mood – that is definitely a red flag.
5. Vibe check
Meaning: to make observations about the atmosphere of a situation and assess someone’s mood. This slang phrase can be used to gauge the feelings of an individual or a group of people, making sure that everyone feels comfortable.
Example: Before starting the monthly book club meeting, Sam did a vibe check to make sure the other members were all on the same page.
6. Lives in my head rent-free
Meaning: to think about something or someone often, perhaps too often. This slang phrase may have started as a metaphor for hanging onto resentment towards someone else, but now, it is used colloquially to describe something you love so much that you are always thinking about it.
Example: The way my best friends surprised me on my birthday last year still lives in my head rent-free.
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7. Catfishing
Meaning: to pretend to be someone else by creating a fake online identity. Catfishing sometimes involves tricking someone else into meeting them in person or giving them money. Thus, it is important to be cautious when communicating with new people on the internet.
Example: I have been talking to someone on Instagram, but after searching for their photos on Google, I found out they have been catfishing me.
8. Ghosting
Meaning: to disappear from someone’s life without giving an explanation. This slang term is usually associated with romantic relationships, but it can also apply to friendships. It describes when a friend or romantic interest suddenly stops all communication with you, not even responding to calls or messages. This often leaves people feeling confused and hurt.
Example: Maybe Leslie has changed, but last year, she ghosted my friend Tania after three weeks of dating, so I don’t think she is very emotionally mature.
9. “That girl”
Meaning: the stereotypical idea of the “perfect girl” who has her life together. The idea of “that girl”, which started as a trend on TikTok, celebrates those who are productive and positive, practise healthy lifestyles and achieve their goals. But some criticise this trend as being a form of toxic positivity.
Example: I’ll never be “that girl”, and I’m perfectly happy with that. I don’t have time to make pretty smoothies and exercise every day.
10. Gaslighting
Meaning: a form of psychological manipulation that makes someone question their own perceptions, memories and sanity, leading them to believe that the problem is entirely their fault. This can happen in any kind of relationship.
Example: Jennie considers gaslighting to be a major red flag and does not tolerate anyone who refuses to take responsibility for their mistakes.
11. Aromantic
Meaning: refers to those who have little to no romantic attraction to anyone
Example: Being unable to fall in love does not mean you are broken – maybe you’re just aromantic!
