Difficulty: Explorer (Level 1)
Relatives ask personal questions many times because they care about you. They want to know how you are doing, especially if they see you only during the Lunar New Year. Sometimes, they ask to start talking to you so there are no strange silences.
Your parents might not be happy if you don’t answer their questions because they see these questions as a sign of care.
You don’t have to answer every personal question at family events. You can give general answers without sharing too much. For example, you could say, “I’m learning new things in school and getting ready for the next year.”
You can also ask them questions in return. For example, you could ask, “How about you?” Or you could ask, “What were your plans like when you were young?” You can also change the topic by asking about their plans for the new year. After they answer, you can follow up with more questions. Or you can politely excuse yourself to do something else.
If a relative continues to ask you the same question, it is OK to say you do not want to answer. You might say, “That’s a difficult question for me to answer right now. Maybe we can talk about it later,” or “Thank you for asking, but I’d prefer not to share that information.”
These ways of responding will help you keep your privacy while still being polite.
This question was answered by San Hung, a registered counselling psychologist and secondary school counsellor.
Questions
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Even when you may not want to answer their questions, why is it still important to be polite to your relatives?
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What are some other ways to politely change the subject of a conversation?
