Difficulty: Explorer (Level 1)
It can be challenging when things are tense at home. Remember, this is not your fault. Parents are people, too. Sometimes, they struggle with their feelings and how to deal with problems. This doesn’t mean they can take their anger out on you.
Try to find a calm time to talk to your parents about how their arguments make you feel. Avoid discussing it while they are arguing or immediately after, as they may still be upset.
Use “I” statements to explain your feelings. For example, say, “I feel sad and worried when you argue,” instead of blaming them. This can help your parents understand how you feel.
You might suggest that they discuss their issues in a different space. They can talk outside the house, or when you are not around. If your parents continue to argue and take their anger out on you, you can go to a quiet place where you feel safe. This could be going for a walk in the park or staying in a peaceful room.
You can also do things that make you happy and keep you focused. Try exercising, listening to music, drawing or writing in a journal. These can help you relax, understand your feelings and feel better.
If you find that these suggestions do not help, consider talking to a trusted adult. You can approach a school counsellor who can provide advice and support.
This question was answered by the Department of Health under Shall We Talk, an initiative launched with the Advisory Committee on Mental Health.
Questions
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Why is it important to talk to your parents about how their arguments affect you?
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What are two examples of “I” statements that someone in this situation can use to express their feelings?
