Difficulty: Explorer (Level 1)
Holidays can be very hard when your parents are no longer together. It is common to feel a deep sadness when you do not feel important or wanted during this time.
It can be a good idea to talk to your parents about how you feel. Start by choosing a calm time to talk that is not during the holiday itself.
You could call your parents on the phone or meet them when everyone seems relaxed. When you speak, use “I” statements that focus on your feelings.
For example, you could say: “I know you both care about me, but it hurts when I feel like I’m not fully wanted during the holidays. Can we figure out a way to make it feel better for me this year?”
You can also think about ways to make this season easier for you. Simple things could help, like spending time with friends, doing hobbies you really enjoy and even volunteering to help others.
If your difficult feelings become too much or last for a long time, it is important to get more help.
You can talk to a trusted adult, a school counsellor or a therapist. They can offer support that is just for you.
Do not feel ashamed about asking for help; it actually shows that you are strong.
This question was answered by Ken Fung, a clinical psychologist, director of therapy and counselling at The Jadis Blurton Family Development Centre and founder of Your Relationship Clinic
