Difficulty: Explorer (Level 1)
We have all experienced moments of intense emotion where we just feel like isolating and not interacting with anyone.
Dr Ken Fung, the director of therapy and counselling at the Jadis Blurton Family Development Centre in Hong Kong, offered some advice.
“Sometimes, when we are overwhelmed by emotion, it’s better that we take some space … and spend some time on our own so that our brain can actually restore,” the clinical psychologist said.
Why do we feel this way?
Fung explained how some situations could cause big feelings in someone.
“[They might be] overwhelmed, maybe from having a lot of responsibilities from school … [or] having to follow what their parents ask them to do,” he said.
When you feel overwhelmed, take time for yourself before you talk to someone. This time could be different for everyone. It could last a few minutes or a few hours.
Fung said: “[You can] do some deep breathing exercises and something mindful, like drawing. Just don’t do something that requires a lot of energy.”
It is also important to respect others if we notice that they might need space.
Fung said you could gently and respectfully ask, “Hey, how are you doing? … I see that you’re having a difficult time, but I’m always here. I will be around. So if you need me, you can talk to me.” That stops you from overwhelming them while giving them options.
Taking the space you need
Fung advised on how to calm down when you are feeling overwhelmed.
“The first thing you have to do is to slow down because as you speed up, your anxiety will go up,” he said.
Fung recommended closing your eyes and thinking of somewhere that makes you feel safe. The place does not have to be real. It should simply make you feel comfortable.
Fung also had a message for those finding it difficult to cope with heavier emotions.
“There are so many ways to express how we feel. Speaking is just one of them,” he said. “You can keep a little diary of your own and write down your feelings and emotions. You don’t have to show anyone, and that can also be a way to express your feelings.”
5-4-3-2-1 technique
The clinical psychologist shared a grounding exercise that can help you focus on the moment and calm down.
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First, take a few deep breaths. Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth, as slowly as possible.
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Find five things that you see and name them out loud or in your mind.
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Touch four things around you, like a chair, your hair or an accessory.
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Name three things you can hear. For example, the air conditioner, birds chirping outside or even the vacuum cleaner.
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Identify two things you can smell.
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Finally, ask yourself: “What emotion am I feeling now?”
