Difficulty: Explorer (Level 1)
Your friends and cousin may not realise that you are feeling left out. It is also possible that your friends could be trying to make your cousin feel welcome.
It may help to talk to your cousin and one or two friends separately. Make sure you are calm when you speak to them. Take a few deep breaths before your chat.
Tell them how you feel and be clear about what you need from them. However, make sure not to blame them.
You can use “I” statements like “I felt a bit left out lately.”
Be sure to give them the chance to explain their thoughts and listen to what they say.
Even if you bring up the topic calmly and explain your feelings, your friends might not want to discuss it. This can be frustrating, but it’s important to respect their choice.
In this case, you can focus on other friends and spend time with people who make you feel good and heard.
Talk it out
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Is there anything about your relationship with your friends that you’d like to improve? How could you do it?
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“I” statements can help others understand how their behaviour affects you. What types of “I” statements can you come up with?
The question was answered by clinical psychologists from the Department of Health under Shall We Talk, a mental health initiative launched with the Advisory Committee on Mental Health.
