Difficulty: Explorer (Level 1)
It’s great that you notice how your friends feel and want to help them.
You could listen to them and try to understand their feelings. If they want to, you can discuss with them what they can do to improve.
You can help your friends focus less on their low grades and think about how they have improved or what they have learned. You can celebrate these things even if their exam scores do not show it.
Having top marks on tests is not the only way to measure success - someone could also be amazing at sports or the arts. Or maybe your friend is able to show their knowledge when they are not under the pressure of doing well on a test.
You can congratulate your friends’ achievements outside exams as much as you would for someone who aces a test.
It is also OK to be honest about your feelings. You can tell your friend: “I feel bad seeing you feel so upset about your grades. Why don’t we take a break from this topic for now? And we can discuss it at another time.”
If you know one of your friends in particular is nervous when talking about grades, try not to discuss results all the time around them. Make sure to also extend help if they say they need it.
If you notice that your friend is constantly worried about their grades, encourage them to talk to a teacher or a school counsellor.
This question was answered by San Hung, a registered counselling psychologist (HKPS) and secondary school counsellor.
