Do you have a personal question you’ve been too afraid to ask? Whether it is about school, family or your social life, you can share it with us through this form. Don’t worry, you’ll remain anonymous.
Dear Friend,
I have recurring thoughts of suicide but everyone around me dismisses them. I feel ashamed of wanting a weak way out. What should I do?
Signed, Feeling Hopeless
Dear Feeling,
You have taken the first step: reaching out and sharing how you feel. It takes courage to talk about thoughts of suicide, especially when you feel dismissed or ashamed. You are not alone, and your feelings are valid.
Recurring thoughts of suicide are a sign that you’re struggling with intense emotional pain, not a sign of weakness. Many people experience these thoughts at some point in their lives, especially when they feel isolated or misunderstood.
Feeling ashamed or believing you are “weak” for having these thoughts is common, but these feelings are not true reflections of your worth or strength. Here are some ideas of what you can do.
Reach out to someone safe
Try to find one trusted person who will listen without judgment. This could be a family member, friend or teacher. Not everyone will understand, but there are those who will.
Unpack the shame
Suicidal thoughts are not that unusual, and they are certainly not character flaws. Just as you would not blame your friend for struggling, you do not need to blame yourself for these thoughts. Remember: you are not weak. Wanting relief from pain is human.
Seek professional support
As a clinical psychologist, I help clients with issues like these all the time. There are ways to address these thoughts that can offer hope for a path forward.
If you are unsure how to find help, consider talking to your school counsellor, doctor or a helpline. Working with a professional can also help you identify warning signs, establish coping steps and create a list of people you can contact in a crisis.
If you are in immediate distress and you feel you might act on these thoughts, seek help right away. Call a crisis helpline, go to the nearest emergency department or tell someone you trust. You deserve support and safety, no matter what.
Reaching out for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Things will get better.
You are not alone, Friend of a Friend
Useful links
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Hong Kong Baptist University’s list of emergency hotlines and community services, including school counselling services
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Mind HK’s list of crisis helplines and other hotlines
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Hospital Authority’s list of all Accident & Emergency Departments in Hong Kong
If you have suicidal thoughts or know someone who is experiencing them, help is available. In Hong Kong, you can dial 18111 for the government-run Mental Health Support Hotline.
You can also call +852 2896 0000 for The Samaritans or +852 2382 0000 for Suicide Prevention Services. In the US, call or text 988 or chat at 988lifeline.org for the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. For a list of other nations’ helplines, see this page.
This question was answered by Andrew Stock, a clinical psychologist and partner at Therapy Partners and the president of the Psychotherapy Society of Hong Kong
