Need an answer to a personal question that you’ve never mustered the courage to ask? We’ve been there. Whether it is about school, family issues or social life, share your thoughts with us. If you have a question you’d like answered (about anything at all), please fill out this form. Don’t worry – you will remain anonymous!
Dear Friend,
People always tell me how lucky I am. I have the best parents and great friends at school. I have good grades, too. But I feel so empty and hollow inside. I feel like I’m just pretending to be happy and that I keep a smile on my face for others’ satisfaction. What is wrong with me?
Signed, Empty Inside
Help! How do I stop myself from picking at scabs on my legs and leaving scars?
Dear Empty,
There’s nothing wrong with the way you feel. It speaks to how deeply attuned you are to your inner world, even if it feels invisible to those around you.
Under the surface
When people comment on how “lucky” you are, they are likely seeing the parts of your life that shine outwardly – your achievements, relationships and even overt expressions. But what they may not realise is that beneath that smile, there is a quieter, more complex emotional landscape.
Pretending to be happy to avoid disappointing others is a very human response. Many people wear masks to navigate social expectations, especially when they worry their true feelings might burden others.
Confusing feelings
Inner emptiness or hollowness is often a signal from your mind and body that something deeper needs attention. Sometimes, these feelings arise from unmet emotional needs, unresolved experiences or even pressure to maintain a perfect image.
They might also be tied to events or transitions that have not been fully processed. These deep emotions rarely exist without cause; they are messengers asking us to listen.
Asking for help
While it is brave to carry this on your own, you do not have to. A mental health professional can offer a safe, non-judgmental space to explore these feelings and help you untangle their roots. They can also help determine whether this emptiness might be linked to a condition like depression, which often manifests as a sense of numbness or detachment even when life appears “perfect” on the surface.
Seeking support is not a sign of weakness – it’s an act of self-compassion. In the meantime, try to treat yourself with patience. Your feelings are valid, even if they don’t align with the story others see.
Healing begins when we stop judging our pain and start tending to it. You’ve already taken the first step by reaching out – that is something to be proud of.
You deserve to feel better, Friend of a Friend
This question was answered by James Yu, a clinical psychologist and associate professor at the Hang Seng University of Hong Kong
