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Dear Friend,
I feel self-conscious about my body these days, especially after joining my school’s dance class. Everyone else seems so thin, and I am the only one who needs to wear larger-sized clothes. I love dancing, but it’s starting to feel really tough. Should I just quit dancing?
Signed, Full of Self-Doubt
Help! I constantly worry about what other people think of me
Dear Self-Doubt,
Absolutely not! Your feelings of self-consciousness are common, especially in dance environments, but it’s important to remember that dance is for everyone.
Dance has the power to promote body positivity and self-love. Dance should be about celebrating what your body can do, not how it looks. Many dance communities prioritise inclusivity, welcoming people of all body types.
Remember, diversity should be celebrated. If that’s not the case in your school dance class, you could find a new one.
As you learn new moves and improve your skills, you’ll begin to appreciate your body’s strength and grace. This new-found confidence can extend beyond the dance floor.
If you stick with your school dance class, here are some other suggestions that might help:
Focus on feeling: Instead of fixating on how you look in the mirror, concentrate on how the movements feel in your body. This can help remove some of the emotional charge associated with appearance.
Practise self-compassion: When negative thoughts arise, try to practise self-compassion. Acknowledge your feelings without judgment and offer gentle encouragement, as you would with a friend. Remember, your body is your instrument in dance, and everybody can create beautiful art through movement. Don’t let self-consciousness rob you of the joy of dancing. Instead, use dance to connect with your body, boost your confidence, and celebrate your unique beauty.
Build community: It is especially isolating to feel like you’re the only dancer who wears larger clothes, so you might find comfort in meeting other people who can relate to your experiences. You can try talking to your friends who aren’t in dance or looking for people in other performance spaces that are more diverse. Body Banter is a Hong Kong charity dedicated to helping youth discuss body image and mental health. You can look into their events and programmes to meet others who can help you feel less alone in your struggles.
If you continue to struggle with body image issues, consider reaching out to a body-positive therapist who can provide additional support and strategies for building a healthier relationship with your body.
Sending you strength, Friend of a Friend
This question was answered by Andrew Stock, a clinical psychologist and partner at TherapyPartners, and president of the Psychotherapy Society of Hong Kong.
