Do you have a personal question you’ve been too afraid to ask? Whether it is about school, family or your social life, you can share it with us through this form. Don’t worry, you’ll remain anonymous.
Dear Friend,
I am a teen male and I am ashamed of my body because I am too skinny. This has affected me in many ways. For example, I always wear baggy clothes and jeans. I am too embarrassed to go swimming. What can I do to bulk up?
Signed, Insecure
Dear Insecure,
Thank you for sharing your feelings. It takes a lot of courage and self-awareness to open up about insecurities.
It’s a common misconception that body image concerns only affect girls. In reality, many boys also experience insecurity, especially about being “too skinny”. It is a valid feeling, and I want to reassure you that you are not alone.
Let’s explore some strategies to help you move forward.
First, take some time to understand the emotional roots of your insecurity. Why does your body, as it is, make you feel this way? Does it make you feel left out, less attractive or something else? Pinpointing these feelings can be a helpful first step.
Second, try reframing your approach to changing your body.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to change your physical appearance, but consider shifting your goal towards becoming stronger and healthier for your overall well-being rather than solely for aesthetic reasons.
For instance, consider taking an approach that includes weight training and balanced nutrition to facilitate muscle building. To find reliable information on effective weight-training exercises and balanced meal plans, look for resources from certified personal trainers, registered dietitians or reputable fitness and health organisations.
Try to be wary of information shared by so-called “fit-fluencers” on social media platforms like Instagram, as it is often not grounded in scientific evidence and not tailored to your individual needs.
Finally, prioritise community and enjoyable movement. Joining group sports could be a fantastic way to balance the way you view your body.
When you are part of a team working together towards a common goal, you naturally start to place less emphasis on your body’s appearance and more on the team’s overall performance and shared achievements.
If group sports are not for you, consider a solo sport or activity that you genuinely enjoy and that focuses on function and feeling good, rather than just aesthetics. This could be anything from hiking or running to martial arts or cycling. What’s most important is finding an activity that keeps you active and engaged in a fun, stimulating way.
Good luck on your journey, Friend of a friend
This question was answered by Stephanie Ng, the founder of Body Banter, a Hong Kong-registered charity that empowers young people to have conversations about body image and mental health
