Do you have a personal question you’ve been too afraid to ask? Whether it is about school, family or your social life, you can share it with us through this form. Don’t worry, you’ll remain anonymous.
Dear Friend,
I often pick at the skin around my fingernails without even realising it, and as a result, my fingers have started to bleed. I want to stop this habit, but the more I worry about it, the more I find myself doing it. Do you have any advice?
Sincerely, Nibbler
Dear Nibbler,
Many people tend to pick at the skin around their fingers, finding it a tempting distraction. There’s a certain satisfaction in peeling it away, almost like a clean release. Unfortunately, this habit often leads to bloody fingers and painful stinging, especially during everyday tasks or when washing hands.
When you do something without thinking, it suggests you are unaware of the habit. To break a bad habit, you must first raise awareness of it. One effective way to increase self-awareness is by starting with a grounding exercise.
To ground yourself, sit up straight with your feet flat on the ground and your hands resting on your lap. Then, close your eyes and take three deep, slow breaths. As you breathe, start to notice how different parts of your body feel, beginning with your toes and moving up to your eyebrows, ears, and nose. Continue this process throughout your entire body.
Engaging in regular grounding exercises can help you become more aware of unconscious habits, such as picking at the skin around your fingers. Once you start noticing this behaviour, it’s important to ask yourself what worries might be driving it. Are you concerned about the pain? How will your hand look? Or the possibility of getting an infection?
When you become aware of your worries, the next question is: What am I willing to do about them? By recognising our actions, we take responsibility for them. If we choose to continue picking the skin off our fingers, it is a conscious decision. To break this habit, gain more control over your body by being more present and aware of it.
Here are some additional tips to help you manage chronic skin picking more effectively. Combining proper wound care with physical barriers can help break the habit. Using the right wound dressings, especially advanced healing bandages or small spot band-aids, can significantly minimise scarring and promote skin recovery. Another effective strategy is to apply these bandages to your index fingers while reading or studying. This creates a physical barrier that makes picking much more difficult.
Dermatologists recommend keeping your nails very short to make it harder to pick at your skin. If you find yourself picking at your skin while you sleep, wearing cotton gloves can help protect your skin and allow it to heal overnight.
You can do it, Friend of a friend
This question was answered by Katie Leung Pui-yan, a practising child and family therapist and partner at TherapyPartners.
