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Dear Friend,
I cannot stop picking at the scabs on my legs, even though it hurts and leaves scars. I know this is a bad habit, but it feels satisfying. Then, afterwards, I feel gross and ashamed. I now hide my legs, and I hate how they look. Is there something wrong with me? How do I stop myself?
Signed, Skin Picker
Help! People have made things awkward for my guy friend and me
Dear Picker,
What you are describing is actually quite common, and you are definitely not alone. Many young people pick at their scabs, especially when it feels good in the moment. But it can leave you feeling ashamed or wanting to hide.
Why am I picking at scabs?
This behaviour is called skin picking or excoriation. It is a body-focused repetitive behaviour that often starts as a way to cope with stress, anxiety or uncomfortable emotions and can become a habit that is really hard to break, even when you want to stop.
Is there something ‘wrong’ with me?
This is not about willpower or being “bad”. Many people find themselves stuck in a cycle where picking brings temporary relief or satisfaction but then leads to guilt, shame or embarrassment. Feeling bad about how you look is tough, and you deserve support and understanding, not judgment.
How do I stop?
The good news is that there are ways to manage these urges.
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Identify triggers, such as certain times, feelings or places, to help you plan and use strategies to interrupt the cycle.
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Keep your hands busy with fidget toys, stress balls or something else.
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Take care of your skin with soothing moisturisers or cover wounds with hydrocolloid patches to protect your skin and help you resist the urge to pick at it.
I need more help
Talk to someone you trust, like a parent, school counsellor or your family doctor, who can support you and help you find a psychologist if you want.
Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) and habit reversal training (HRT) are effective, evidence-based treatments that help you learn when and why you pick, and also teach you new ways to cope with those urges.
With the proper support and tools, most people see real improvement and feel better about themselves over time.
You are not alone, Friend of a Friend
This question was answered by Andrew Stock, president of the Psychotherapy Society of Hong Kong and a clinical psychologist and partner at Therapy Partners
