Do you have a personal question you’ve been too afraid to ask? Whether it is about school, family or your social life, you can share it with us through this form. Don’t worry, you’ll remain anonymous.
Dear Friend,
I’m a girl who’s constantly crushing on boys, but I can never tell if the feeling is mutual. I know I should focus on my schoolwork, but I’m really curious about what it’s like to be in a relationship.
Signed, Crush-Prone Romantic
Dear Romantic,
Thank you for sharing what’s on your mind. What you are experiencing is completely normal. Having crushes and being curious about relationships are natural parts of growing up. These feelings show that you are developing emotionally and socially, which is healthy. They are often our first “practice runs” in understanding what we value in another person – like kindness, humour or shared interests.
Understandably, you find it hard to tell if someone likes you back. The truth is, even adults struggle with this sometimes. At your age, many people are still figuring out their own feelings and may not know how to express interest clearly. This ambiguity can feel frustrating, but it is also a time to learn about emotional intelligence. By observing how others interact, you are learning to read social cues and understand the complexity of human connection.
Some signs that someone might be interested include wanting to spend time with you, remembering small details about things you’ve said or making a consistent effort to talk to you. However, the most reliable way to know is through honest communication over time as you build friendships. Remember, a crush is often based on an idea of a person; a friendship is based on who they really are.
You mentioned knowing you should focus on schoolwork, which shows great self-awareness. Here is something to consider: it’s not about choosing between relationships and your studies. It’s about balance. Right now, investing in yourself through education, hobbies and friendships is building the foundation for your future. When you pursue your own passions – whether it is art, sports or science – you become a more confident and well-rounded person. This “inner growth” is actually what makes you more magnetic to others in the long run.
Being curious about relationships doesn’t mean you need to rush into one. Some of the best partnerships start as deep friendships where you have already built a level of trust. There is no deadline to meet, and there is no “right” age to start dating; everyone moves at their own pace. What matters most is that when you do eventually enter a relationship, it is with someone who respects your boundaries, supports your goals and adds genuine positivity to your life.
Keep crushing it, Friend of a Friend
This question was answered by Ken Fung, a clinical psychologist, director of therapy and counselling at the Jadis Blurton Family Development Centre and founder of Your Relationship Clinic.
