Do you have a personal question you’ve been too afraid to ask? Whether it is about school, family or your social life, you can share it with us through this form. Don’t worry, you’ll remain anonymous.
Dear Friend,
I am frustrated with my parents because they are constantly on their phones – even when we are eating dinner. I want to tell them about the problems I am having at school, but they don’t seem interested. It feels like they don’t even care about me. Every time I try to say something, they say “Later,” or that they are busy. How do I get their attention?
Signed, Silent Child
Dear Silent Child,
We’re sorry to hear you have been feeling neglected. It must be tough when your parents seem distracted during precious family time. You deserve their attention, especially when you’re facing challenges at school. It sounds like you are going through a lonely and discouraging time. But your initiative to communicate with your parents is truly commendable. Here are some suggestions for you.
Stay calm, cool and collected
Your desire to share your school life and connect with your parents is natural. Your disappointment and frustration are completely understandable; there is nothing wrong with how you feel. Take time to acknowledge and settle your emotions before approaching your parents. That way, you can communicate calmly and clearly, and increase your chances of being heard.
Organise your thoughts
Go for a quick walk to process how you feel. If you’re still struggling, it might help to journal your thoughts. Then, practise saying how you feel out loud in the mirror to build confidence and take a few deep breaths. These steps will make it easier to express yourself clearly and increase the likelihood that your message will be well received.
Keep an open mind
Some parents are deeply engaged with work demands or daily stresses and do not realise how much their children need attention. But that does not necessarily mean they don’t care – they might just need a gentle nudge. Approach them with patience: it can open the door to a better connection.
Pick the right time
Timing matters. Busy moments often lead to quick responses. Choose a peaceful moment when your parents are clearly not busy, like in the time after a meal or during a weekend walk. You can say something simple, like “Hey, can we chat for 10 minutes? I miss talking with you. It’s important to me.” These small steps create a low-pressure atmosphere.
Express yourself in alternative ways
Try other ways to communicate. Maybe a quick message, voice note, video or short letter. These might be easier for your parents to process and respond thoughtfully when it suits them best.
Find extra support
If things do not improve after trying these approaches – or school problems get worse – don’t hesitate to confide in a trusted teacher, school counsellor, mental health professional or another adult you feel comfortable with.
Things will get better, Friend of a Friend
For more information, here are some helpful links and numbers:
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Shall We Talk’s list of professional help options
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OpenUp, a 24-hour online text emotional support platform for ages 6 to 24
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Dial 18111 for the government’s 24-hour mental health support hotline
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Dial 2466 7350 for the Hospital Authority’s mental health advisory service
This question was answered by clinical psychologists from Shall We Talk, a mental health initiative under the Department of Health launched with the Advisory Committee on Mental Health
