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Dear Friend,
Whenever I am in a different place, or sometimes when I am alone, I begin to feel uncomfortable. How can I calm myself down in these situations?
Signed, Out of Sorts
Dear Out of Sorts,
It sounds like you have been experiencing discomfort or unease in new environments or when you are by yourself. This could mean unfamiliar settings and solitary situations make you anxious. Here are some steps you can take to get to the root of this challenging experience and manage that discomfort.
Talk to a professional
The distress you feel when away from familiar places or faces may stem from an anxiety-related condition, such as agoraphobia, social anxiety or separation anxiety. Consult a healthcare professional who can give you a thorough assessment and the support you need. They can help you explore your feelings, identify underlying causes and develop effective coping strategies.
Learn your triggers
Keep a journal to track when and where you feel distressed. Record specific situations and the accompanying thoughts, feelings and physical sensations. Recognising patterns and potential triggers will help you develop strategies to prevent or manage these episodes and gain a sense of control.
Practise slow, deep breathing
Take a deep breath, inhaling through your nose. Hold for a few seconds, then exhale slowly through your mouth. This technique can help create a sense of calm.
Distract yourself
If you start to feel overwhelmed, try shifting your focus away from your distressing thoughts. Engage in relaxing activities such as listening to music or performing simple mental tasks like word association or rhyming.
Make lifestyle adjustments
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Physical activity, like running or playing sports, can significantly reduce anxiety levels.
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Ensure you get enough rest. Sleep deprivation can intensify anxiety and affect emotional regulation.
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Limit your tea and coffee intake. Caffeine can increase feelings of nervousness and restlessness.
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Establish a routine. Creating a predictable structure with habits you enjoy – such as listening to calming music – can make unfamiliar environments feel safer and more manageable.
Reach out for support
Share your feelings with a parent or trusted adult. They can provide emotional support and reassurance. You could also consider making a note of a contact number for someone you can talk to if you need support – such as when visiting unfamiliar or new places, or if you have to go somewhere on your own.
Best of luck, Friend of a Friend
This question was answered by clinical psychologists from Shall We Talk, a mental health initiative under the Department of Health launched with the Advisory Committee on Mental Health
